pick me up

Knocking on Heaven´s door
Originally uploaded by La ciudad visible (moving my residence to Paris)

the conclusion(for now):
pick me up on your way to heaven,
old departing soul
where i can live forever
in joy, or so i'm told
i've run all the races
not won a single one
so pick me up on your way to heaven
seems like that's a lot more fun

the stream of consciousness that brought me there:
all i want is to be desperately in love again.
but now it's so much more complicated than it used to be.
now i have to think about-- what if we got serious? could i marry him? could i live with him for the rest of my life? is it REALLY love??? well, i can't be there with him, so it won't work.
it won't it won't it won't it won't
WHY NOT
none of those reasons are good enough for me
love never fails.
and we will see that it doesn't.
but he doesn't love me back.
so i must sit and ponder.
and that is all i can do.
i must sit and wonder
if he loves me too
and rot away my life
because i can't forget about him
just take me home to heaven
so i don't have to deal with it