Be

Darfur_Child
Originally uploaded by vergueishon

there are 25 pillows in the bed i'm staying in.
not one of them is necessary.
no one listens to political activists
until they get too loud and scary
show me what's real, please
i'll run away with ease
it's so easy not to care
'til you're there.

you always wonder
why no one's helping you
you always wonder
what they've got to do
that's so much more important
than a pillow
under your head
you forget how they fight to survive
children learn how to not die
while you worry about getting a big enough house
for yourself, children and spouse.

these are your brothers and sisters
these are the women who raised you
these are your next of kin
so get out of your hole
move into the role
you were made to fit perfectly in

first impressions

first impression
Originally uploaded by dreifachzucker

i always thought you were so much better than me
but first impressions can be so deceiving

there's a point at which
you run and hide,
another at which
you realize
that there's nothing
to run about
'cuz we're all figuring it out
as we go

recent thoughts from the notebook of me

a bit of advice- when someone is talking, show that you're listening- it affects the speaker. if you have ever performed music in a laid-back environment, you know how it feels to have people not listen. 

my struggle is with flesh and bones 

while yours lies deep within the soul

you fear the coming of the dark

i see only the dawn we're warned of

i think you might be missin' the mark

though i'm sure nowhere close to a bull's-eye

i'd love to run away with you

but i am just too tired to

play a game again 

with another fool

i'd love to meet you in the dark

make a fire out of a spark

but i've burned down this barn

one too many times

i've gotta sit you on the bed

tell you all the things i've read

that say you're wrong for me

and exactly why

Daydream

Daydream
Originally uploaded by Taryn Davis

I've been imagining arms I've never felt around me
It seems my only hope of something real.
Opportunities are abundant, not astounding
Plentiful, but not one that's worth a meal.
----------
It's that hopeless abandon that beautifies us,
that point at which we are too weak to even pretend to be sensible.

We are so full of longing we would do anything

for one moment.

And it destroys us.

--------------
one last thing:

Chris Thile lyrics-

"I am yours if you want me
And I'm sorry if you do
'Cause I don't have that much to offer
A girl who knows as much as you

I'm scared of your body
and I'm scared of your soul
But I'd rather be letdown
Than let being with you go

I am yours if you want me
you can see I'm not mine anymore
it didn't take much to drive me crazy
I guess I wasn't that sane before

I don't care about my future
and I don't care about your past
Those things come from and lead to right now
and they can get -- out fast

So I am yours if you want me
And you know what now I think you should
'cause I want you to be mine so bad
I promise I will make it good"

Sometimes I feel exactly like this. The song is amazing.

to you who listen

I know some of you may worry about me from time to time when I write in this blog. I just want you to know that I am indeed going through some growing pains, but no more than your average growing person I suppose. Sometimes I am dramatic, and sometimes I am actually not even writing about myself, but about someone else who I feel deeply for. Don't be discouraged by my ranting- I am merely sorting through the pain so I can find the delicious pulp in the juice of life. Random metaphor. Whatever. haha. If you are reading this, I trust you, so thank you for being trustworthy. 

I love you
Originally uploaded by zaccollins

he said it's finally over.

just when i was getting my second wind

"going in for the kill, kill" (regina)

when i'd pushed all my thoughts aside

because my emotions, 

my instincts

were so strong.

i wanted his imperfect grit of a man

to hold me down

and want me bad.

but he only wants

what he can't so easily have

and isn't that always

the truth?

---------

it's all just a power struggle

-----

... but really, none of us can ever probably take into account everything we ought to- we cannot be thorough, satisfy. But there are other reasons to believe. He answers prayer.

-----------

a mother, even-tempered wife

she lives with him, 

always his beautiful bride

for she is never-changing,

always the woman

he thought he married

--------

you've told me,

i know we're through

you're falling

for someone new

i never had a real chance

but when we danced

i want to tell you-

that i miss the shape of your back

the way you say things,

how you react

but you probably don't wanna know,

so i'll walk away.

nature, etc.

Vilano Beach Moon Rocks
Originally uploaded by JamesWatkins

some random thoughts from my notebook lately---

the moon shoves over the sun
i roll my feelings out for fun
i choose to blindly run
in your direction-
the direction of the living...
---------
your faults are beauty marks
upon the pale precious skin of the mourning
your love is the slow roll of the tide
over the curves of my body,
over the nerves in your toes
---------
you're the son my father never will have
---------
my magic tricks don't work on you
you know better than to believe my illusions
i try so hard,
you see right through
but you're a natural at everything you do