God is.

Trade Winds - Isla Mujeres, Mexico (Near Cancun)
Originally uploaded by PatrickSmithPhotography

He is not the water or the trees or the earth or wind, but He is like them in a way. They are gentle in nature, but they all can be mighty. Each of them can destroy. But they are beautiful. Maybe this is how God tries to show us His nature. But God is not these, He is more than all of them combined. He is the only one that can stop these mighty forces. Our God is glorious. The great "I AM."

-inspired by the movie/book, "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian"

lists and Christianity

so fa from home
Originally uploaded by nardell

late last night i was going through scriptures from a lesson i'd heard and making a list of characteristics from those scriptures to possibly become new years resolutions. for those of you who were at new years in OK, yes, i'm talking about allen's lesson. i started to worry: am i making Christianity into a mere grocery list of things to do? It is suppose to be growth, and i knew focussing on these things would help me grow.
lists are not all-encompassing, but that doesn't make them useless. for example, if you know me as a person, i am not defined entirely by the things i love (God, writing, music, purple, etc.), but they do help to define me. if you want to understand me you need to know much more than that, but you must know those things. i think that it's probably similar with God: lists of His likes and dislikes may not show you all of Him, but they are things you need to know, and they can help you to understand other traits of His.
also, in Christian living, though a list of things to work on will not make us Christians, we need those characteristics to help us grow as Christians.
i hope that makes sense, or at least makes you think.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

maybe it will be different this once

be different
Originally uploaded by crowfoot

i have this hope for you
this hope that you will bring me out of this place
it is a selfish hope
when i hope that you will make me unselfish

i hope that i will love you with all i have
and never look at another
i have this childish hope
this optimistic hope
that you are the only one worth having
that i will fall for you the way i used to fall
quickly, easily,
no resistance
quickly, easily,
like a child
trusting, hoping, believing
that you will never leave me
and that i will always love you
and that my barriers will forever be gone
with at least
one
person
with just
one
person
with you.

Change

Changing colors!
Originally uploaded by swaheel

it is something I seek, something I long for
For if I am changing, then surely I am growing,
right?
Ah, but growth can go in the wrong direction
It can turn into destruction
And the best kind of growth is steady,
Not too fast or drastic
Yes, that is the lasting kind.
That is the kind that makes you stronger instead of ripping your insides up and trying to glue them back together again and again
Eventually, the glue refuses to stick
And why would it?
It will only be torn apart again.

PS

Sorry about the dramatic post. I feel better now. No worries. haha... I write when I feel sad, and get it all resolved... usually. <3

to be cliche, but honest...

HaiQal
Originally uploaded by wazari

this is a freewrite, as is much of this blog. this one is worse. i'm a mess. i apologize. don't analyze it, please. just listen (read) if you want to.

i feel a hole in my heart already.
i'm happy for you
it's true
i think she will be better for you
but i miss you now
i miss you already
what we were
what we could have maybe been
now it cannot be

it's okay
i've just lost you,
that's all.
you will still be here,
i know,
but it will be so different.
different is not always bad,
but i'm scared
i miss you.

but no longer can i really tell you
no longer will you truly listen
or maybe you will?
i want you to be happy
i just do not want to have to miss the affection i have always seen in your eyes
i've never really known you without that look in your eyes when you see me
and i wonder who you will be
without it.

but thank the Lord that He is always here
and thank Him that i no longer have one more choice to make
because i'm not sure if i could have picked the best one.
i'm not really very good at that.

i know, i am still just a child. it will be alright. let us go on as siblings in Christ. i fear abandonment more than anything else, as a child would. more than that, i fear that all the love will fall from your eyes. all the love for me will be transferred. it will be gone. i hope that it is not the case. i believe that it will not be the case. i forget sometimes that i must trust my Father, like a child would. He will take care of me. i mustn't worry. and thankfully you still care for me, too... how wonderful (:

i just always want to be the best for everyone, to make all of your lives wonderful. but i just almost make the cut...

Today

Nocturne*
Originally uploaded by imapix

^The picture has little to do with the post, I just fell in love with it^

I've been reading "Siddhartha" today and writing a lot. Here are a few excerpts of what I've written today:

We are often self-seeking, but in seeking self we find him/her to be severely lacking; In seeking happiness we find depression in the realization that a self-seeking self is worthless, depraved, stagnant, and irrelevant.

A true kiss. Every part is unique, artful. It is made up of past and future, but is felt completely only in the present. The moment before is a feeling that cannot be encapsulated, cannot be recreated.

Without dependence on another, there is no reason to worry or to hurry. You may go about life doing what you think is best with no one to question you unless you question yourself... Maybe it would seem best to become close to no one at all... 

Obviously I don't agree with this last part. I was rambling on, trying to understand how some people think. I was also trying to understand why it is that a perfectly peaceful man in "Siddhartha" is mentioned as being without a wife. Possibly because he is something like a monk, but it also made me think: to be alone is to have so much less worry. Ah, and Paul speaks of this in a letter of his. 1 Corinthians 7. Interesting stuff.