pick me up

Knocking on Heaven´s door
Originally uploaded by La ciudad visible (moving my residence to Paris)

the conclusion(for now):
pick me up on your way to heaven,
old departing soul
where i can live forever
in joy, or so i'm told
i've run all the races
not won a single one
so pick me up on your way to heaven
seems like that's a lot more fun

the stream of consciousness that brought me there:
all i want is to be desperately in love again.
but now it's so much more complicated than it used to be.
now i have to think about-- what if we got serious? could i marry him? could i live with him for the rest of my life? is it REALLY love??? well, i can't be there with him, so it won't work.
it won't it won't it won't it won't
WHY NOT
none of those reasons are good enough for me
love never fails.
and we will see that it doesn't.
but he doesn't love me back.
so i must sit and ponder.
and that is all i can do.
i must sit and wonder
if he loves me too
and rot away my life
because i can't forget about him
just take me home to heaven
so i don't have to deal with it

the love of money is the root of all evil

i hate money. no really. i despise it right now. i am generally a care-free person, believing nothing is worth worrying about. we can all get over all the stupid stuff we worry about. what i struggle with is worrying about money. not because of myself so much as my family. i hate feeling as though i am making life a struggle for them by doing the things i feel i need to do. by going to college and working on an album, i don't have time for a job, and i am spending money rather than making it. but these are my opportunities, and i also feel a responsibility to take them. ughhhhh
i hate money.
sorry for that rant, i just don't know what to do with myself today.

power

Fallen Beauty (A Hard Rain’s Gonna Fall)
Originally uploaded by Osvaldo_Zoom

God's traits and message are so huge and powerful. To capture even a small piece of one of them in song renders the song more powerful than most.
For example, timelessness: this can probably only be accomplished by doing something so unique that it is never able to be sufficiently recreated, which can only be done by our God-given creativity. Also, utter truthfulness: I can only partially accomplish this, as I only really know the truth of what goes on inside my own self and the truth that is told to me by my God. And honestly, I do not grasp the fullness of either. Relevance across many groups of people (similar to timelessness): most likely to be accomplished by utter truthfulness + awareness of others, but never full. No song is fully universal, though parts of it may resonate to different extents with different people.
And one day in Heaven, we will sing the only truly universal song, the song we will all know by heart without learning it, the song God Himself created, the "new song."

change?

66/365: CHANGE takes time {Explored}
Originally uploaded by AllyRichelle

trying to be more purposeful in the messages of songs, while still letting inspiration work. trying to balance myself. the start of a new song. any ideas where vs. 2 might go? feedback on what i have? thanks for the love and positivity in the past <3 btw i love you back.


i used to be the image of innocence
one day i looked into the mirror and saw
the path of least resistance
i used to have contained curiosity
one day i found myself begging to be
things i should never have seen

and now, look at me
close to sad and alone
close to down on my luck,
wishing just to be home
but i know where to go
and i know the right way
so i'll take it,
i'll change today.

There's Always One

There's Always One
Originally uploaded by nickwheeleroz (on holiday)

music is about many single beings:

God, the creator of the creative

the listener who immediately feels understood
the listener who doesn't get it at first, until it sinks in and changes their perspective
the listener who rediscovers it with new eyes years later
the one who takes a song and replays it as his/her own art
the performer who spills out his/her soul to whoever wants to listen, despite occasional discouragement
the listener who loves and supports it
the listener who realizes he/she has a story to tell too, and tells it for the sake of others and self
the performer/writer who realizes that the most horrible comment or situation cannot offset the encouragement of one person who has developed an everlasting bond with your song through a hard time and/or a beautiful one

Someone anonymously told me a couple of days ago that my songs were no good. I tried hard not to let it discourage me, though the comments were extremely negative, because I've always stuck to the idea that my songs are to change one person, not the world. Today someone else anonymously told me that one of my songs got her through a hard breakup. And that comment is getting me through. Things like that keep me going. and my Lord keeps me going.

give me

the picture i found on flickr wouldn't let me blog it, but here's what it said underneath the pic:

...sage nicht, dass Du geben willst, sondern gib...
Goethe

...dont say you want to give. Just give...
(Goethe)

newest song... haven't decided how i feel about it yet, but here 'tis!

I’ve finally found a love that can almost drown him out of my mind

I’ve finally found someone who knows who I am inside

you might just be the love of my life

but I only have right now to show you why

 

I’m not the kind of girl to try to give a man what he wants

I am just myself, take it or leave it is my thought

but you feel like my last hope for truth

I want to stay happy with you

 

I wanna watch you brush your teeth before you go to bed

I’d love to travel, I’d stay home with you instead

 

so won't you give me

won’t you give me everything I need

won’t you give me

before you leave

 

you gave me all I asked for and so much more

we went down a road I had never been down before

and now I wonder, was it right?

to give up my heart without a fight?

 

I can't take it back now, what I’ve given to you

I just hope you treasure it more than the other men do

I hope that I’m the love of your life

cuz it takes a part of me when we fight

 

don't leave me again and make me cry

no matter what you do, I have to try

 to give you

i will give you everything you need

i will give you

before you leave...

 

you are so amazing

won't you please give yourself to me

though I know I shouldn't take it,

I'm afraid of what I might leave

 

I wish the words you sing were meant from you to me

but they were meant for other ears, I believe

 

but i'll still give you

i'll give you everything you need

 i will give you

before you leave....

  © Sephra Osburn 2009

.puppet.

Inside the pain
Originally uploaded by Tous les noms sont déjà pris... pfff...

too weak to stand alone,
i am your puppet.
i trust you,
do with me what you will.
you've made me who i have come to be.

i know life only by what you have shown me.

then you left me on the side of the road,
broken and scratched
and i hoped someone would come and pick me up,
or you'd take me back
but you never came,
so i had to learn to walk alone.

for the first time
i stood
without help
for the first time
i walked
by myself
and the beauty overwhelmed me

but i was alone.

then i met a puppet master.
amazed at how i stood alone,
he begged me to be his,
to stay with him at his home.
i thought he would treat me with the love i deserved,
i thought he would let me do what i do best-
stand alone.

but i was just a challenge to master
i was just a prize to sit on his shelf
i couldn't stand their laughter
when again i couldn't stand for myself.

the perfect, loving master has come for me.

He is in my arms and legs, 

but i control the strings.