a poem from last semester

i found my last notebook from last semester. This poem was the first 3 pages. I thought it was interesting. Not extremely organized, but it is me we're talking about here. haha. 

You're so unobtrusive

So perfectly sweet

Never would you do anything

To even slightly hurt me

Your interests are not the main event

What's best for us takes precedent

If only you were what I see

As helpful, spiritually, to me

I need a man who puts God first

Without that, every-thing's a blur

The relationship's direction is not

Going to any certain spot

And if it is, it's the wrong one...

That's it. 

Oh no.

I always say relationships 

Bring you closer to God or further from Him

And here you are, taking me away

I can't deny it, but I so badly want to stay.

Please, God, I want to be with You

But don't make me leave him

I think he needs me, too.

Not to say You need me in any way

But oh God, my LORD,

You know I need You.

I want to show him the love You gave me

The way Your Son died on Calvary

He knows, he knows, 

But he's not convinced

I'm scared, God,

Will he be like him?

Without warning will he up and leave,

Without hesitance, and with transparent speed?

I'm falling, falling, falling again

I have to stop this vicious cycle

He's falling, falling

For "just a friend"

This might not work for a while

God, please help me to see

If I am really doing wrong.

I just want to love him

Cuz I know how it feels

To have had love

And want it back so bad

But not want the same one at all

He deserves someone who knows Christ's love

It seems almost natural to him, 

Maybe?

How can I resist?

Should I?

What would God want?

I love Him most.