also...

Originally uploaded by yyellowbird

this picture is just awesome.

I want to say this...

Originally uploaded by yyellowbird

but I don't really want anyone to listen.
If you are one of the very few people who have access to this blog, you may read on, but this post will be ridiculously cheesy. Don't say I didn't warn you...

I'm in love. Yesssssssssssssssss
It's wonderful, and slightly annoying (to be honest).
I'm so excited, but it means a lot of decision-making. If I were still alone, I'd still have to be making lots of decisions, but there would be no need to consider this other person. And still, I am not required to... but ohhhhh I want to.
I'm going to see him this week, and I absolutely cannot wait.
I can't focus on this school work. All I can think of is what it's going to be like to see him again. And, although I know he will love me either way, I can't help but having girly thoughts like "Have I gained weight since I last saw him?" Not because I'm worried he will care too much, but I know that he is a man, and his mind will react to things like that.
I will probably explode when I see him in the airport. I won't know what to do for a second, because the part of me that won't want anyone to look at us will want to be discreet, but the part of me that will be the most excited I've been in a long time will want to scream, run, jump into his arms, hold him, be ridiculous, basically. oh my. I sound like a 14-year-old girl. I really do. But I kind of like that.

Day & Night

Day & Night-pixar
Originally uploaded by whoquis magazine

full of self-doubt
she flounders about
her emotions have ruled her for far too long now

killing the breeze
she breathes on the trees
hoping their light won't always go out

why does she stay that way?
why won't she change?
she asks you the same.

not a hint of distress,
or of loneliness,
i wander carefree through the world, feeling blessed

enjoying the breeze,
the trees breathe on me,
and i never see the lights go out

why do i stay that way?
why won't i change?
don't i see that i
break everything on my way?

when i skip stones
they always hit her eye
when i have fun
it makes the bored kids cry

why does she stay that way?
why won't she change?
she asks you the same.

doubtful truth

Blinded by truth
Originally uploaded by lorrainemd

the age of doubt
crying out loud
not knowing what they cry about
so unsure
let's try one more
pace
toward the face
forever hidden
by my hands
over my eyes
gotta see to believe
even then, it's hard to conceive
that everything you touch
isn't just
an illusion of the mind.
don't you find
that your mind
is too doubtful to trust?
i must be
crazy
to think
i have the right answer
though the evidence points there,
is it chance or
does truth exist
in a way that insists
on existing
the same to all?

put off the games,
let the truth be who He is.

im(perfect)

I am imperfect project
Originally uploaded by Edlondon11

i have a natural honesty;
i think it came with the family.

i reveal my imperfections
far too early on.

i scream them at the top of my lungs
in the faces of those who want to believe my innocence.

and i am waiting for the day,
and hoping it's today,
that a man does not stop treating me like i'm wonderful
for my enormous flaws.

i'm waiting for the day,
and hoping it's today,
that the flaws become the distress of the damsel
instead of the demonizing of her.

because when i fall,
i feel like a little girl.
i need the comfort of a strong arm to sweep me up,
rather than retreat.

please, don't leave just because i'm

im(perfect)

storm by candle light

storm by candle light
Originally uploaded by purpleserenade

the storms pass too quickly,
far too quickly, she cries,
i do not have time to bottle them into a song or a poem,
or even a picture.
you cannot fit thunder into a microphone,
or the feeling of rain on your skin into a bottle,
each storm is special

...my heart is floating in your direction...

Banksy Balloon St John St, Smithfield London
Originally uploaded by Another Partial Success

you're near all i've wished for,
a bit less and more
and all of what i've prayed for,
so stick around to see
if i can be
that to you.

i hope i can keep myself from being who i shouldn't be
for your sake
i want to keep your heart safe
and this is different for me
i don't want it to go away
so stay

yes, it might hurt;
it's likely at best,
so
am i worth the risk?

if you don't let your heart live its life
it will die

innocent

Young love
Originally uploaded by grahamfkerr

innocent love
the scent still lingers
but the cake's been eaten up.
it'll come back to haunt you
as crap

and you'll wonder
at the transformation.

innocent love.
now how did that recipe go?
it'll never quite be the same
but maybe
someday
i'll mess it up
and it'll somehow come out
even better than before
otherwise
my mouth will grow numb
to the imitation
of what was once
thrilling

and we try so hard
to recreate that look in our eyes
but
if you look closely
you can see
the effort,
the difficulty with which that imitation
of the look of love comes.

and the point of that look is that
it is free and easy and painless and innocent.
so where does it come from
when that innocence is gone?

i got a new journal...

I'll Give You All I Can...
Originally uploaded by Brandon Christopher Warren

and here's what i've been writing:
------
missing a face
i've hardly seen
let's listen to coltrane
play
the blues...
after 5 minutes
i could let you in
to my mind
my eyes
my mouth
my heart.
for what?
the feeling of love?
could it be worth pursuing?
any option?
stupid?smart?
close your eyes, close your eyes
------------------------
admiration.
so close.
but there's nothing to be had
for fear
of breakage
------------------------
a first glance tells you you need to meet him
a first word says you ought to be friends
and as soon as his hand seems to drift toward you
you want to be all it ever has.
-------------------
on paper life is dead.
your eyes are where the life is
------------------------
he only knows the joy,
none of the pain just yet,
so he is unafraid of what's to come
--------------------
where did my peace go?
you seem to have ripped it to shreds,
but i'm hoping that's so you can fix it.

pick me up

Knocking on Heaven´s door
Originally uploaded by La ciudad visible (moving my residence to Paris)

the conclusion(for now):
pick me up on your way to heaven,
old departing soul
where i can live forever
in joy, or so i'm told
i've run all the races
not won a single one
so pick me up on your way to heaven
seems like that's a lot more fun

the stream of consciousness that brought me there:
all i want is to be desperately in love again.
but now it's so much more complicated than it used to be.
now i have to think about-- what if we got serious? could i marry him? could i live with him for the rest of my life? is it REALLY love??? well, i can't be there with him, so it won't work.
it won't it won't it won't it won't
WHY NOT
none of those reasons are good enough for me
love never fails.
and we will see that it doesn't.
but he doesn't love me back.
so i must sit and ponder.
and that is all i can do.
i must sit and wonder
if he loves me too
and rot away my life
because i can't forget about him
just take me home to heaven
so i don't have to deal with it

the love of money is the root of all evil

i hate money. no really. i despise it right now. i am generally a care-free person, believing nothing is worth worrying about. we can all get over all the stupid stuff we worry about. what i struggle with is worrying about money. not because of myself so much as my family. i hate feeling as though i am making life a struggle for them by doing the things i feel i need to do. by going to college and working on an album, i don't have time for a job, and i am spending money rather than making it. but these are my opportunities, and i also feel a responsibility to take them. ughhhhh
i hate money.
sorry for that rant, i just don't know what to do with myself today.

power

Fallen Beauty (A Hard Rain’s Gonna Fall)
Originally uploaded by Osvaldo_Zoom

God's traits and message are so huge and powerful. To capture even a small piece of one of them in song renders the song more powerful than most.
For example, timelessness: this can probably only be accomplished by doing something so unique that it is never able to be sufficiently recreated, which can only be done by our God-given creativity. Also, utter truthfulness: I can only partially accomplish this, as I only really know the truth of what goes on inside my own self and the truth that is told to me by my God. And honestly, I do not grasp the fullness of either. Relevance across many groups of people (similar to timelessness): most likely to be accomplished by utter truthfulness + awareness of others, but never full. No song is fully universal, though parts of it may resonate to different extents with different people.
And one day in Heaven, we will sing the only truly universal song, the song we will all know by heart without learning it, the song God Himself created, the "new song."

change?

66/365: CHANGE takes time {Explored}
Originally uploaded by AllyRichelle

trying to be more purposeful in the messages of songs, while still letting inspiration work. trying to balance myself. the start of a new song. any ideas where vs. 2 might go? feedback on what i have? thanks for the love and positivity in the past <3 btw i love you back.


i used to be the image of innocence
one day i looked into the mirror and saw
the path of least resistance
i used to have contained curiosity
one day i found myself begging to be
things i should never have seen

and now, look at me
close to sad and alone
close to down on my luck,
wishing just to be home
but i know where to go
and i know the right way
so i'll take it,
i'll change today.

There's Always One

There's Always One
Originally uploaded by nickwheeleroz (on holiday)

music is about many single beings:

God, the creator of the creative

the listener who immediately feels understood
the listener who doesn't get it at first, until it sinks in and changes their perspective
the listener who rediscovers it with new eyes years later
the one who takes a song and replays it as his/her own art
the performer who spills out his/her soul to whoever wants to listen, despite occasional discouragement
the listener who loves and supports it
the listener who realizes he/she has a story to tell too, and tells it for the sake of others and self
the performer/writer who realizes that the most horrible comment or situation cannot offset the encouragement of one person who has developed an everlasting bond with your song through a hard time and/or a beautiful one

Someone anonymously told me a couple of days ago that my songs were no good. I tried hard not to let it discourage me, though the comments were extremely negative, because I've always stuck to the idea that my songs are to change one person, not the world. Today someone else anonymously told me that one of my songs got her through a hard breakup. And that comment is getting me through. Things like that keep me going. and my Lord keeps me going.

give me

the picture i found on flickr wouldn't let me blog it, but here's what it said underneath the pic:

...sage nicht, dass Du geben willst, sondern gib...
Goethe

...dont say you want to give. Just give...
(Goethe)

newest song... haven't decided how i feel about it yet, but here 'tis!

I’ve finally found a love that can almost drown him out of my mind

I’ve finally found someone who knows who I am inside

you might just be the love of my life

but I only have right now to show you why

 

I’m not the kind of girl to try to give a man what he wants

I am just myself, take it or leave it is my thought

but you feel like my last hope for truth

I want to stay happy with you

 

I wanna watch you brush your teeth before you go to bed

I’d love to travel, I’d stay home with you instead

 

so won't you give me

won’t you give me everything I need

won’t you give me

before you leave

 

you gave me all I asked for and so much more

we went down a road I had never been down before

and now I wonder, was it right?

to give up my heart without a fight?

 

I can't take it back now, what I’ve given to you

I just hope you treasure it more than the other men do

I hope that I’m the love of your life

cuz it takes a part of me when we fight

 

don't leave me again and make me cry

no matter what you do, I have to try

 to give you

i will give you everything you need

i will give you

before you leave...

 

you are so amazing

won't you please give yourself to me

though I know I shouldn't take it,

I'm afraid of what I might leave

 

I wish the words you sing were meant from you to me

but they were meant for other ears, I believe

 

but i'll still give you

i'll give you everything you need

 i will give you

before you leave....

  © Sephra Osburn 2009

.puppet.

Inside the pain
Originally uploaded by Tous les noms sont déjà pris... pfff...

too weak to stand alone,
i am your puppet.
i trust you,
do with me what you will.
you've made me who i have come to be.

i know life only by what you have shown me.

then you left me on the side of the road,
broken and scratched
and i hoped someone would come and pick me up,
or you'd take me back
but you never came,
so i had to learn to walk alone.

for the first time
i stood
without help
for the first time
i walked
by myself
and the beauty overwhelmed me

but i was alone.

then i met a puppet master.
amazed at how i stood alone,
he begged me to be his,
to stay with him at his home.
i thought he would treat me with the love i deserved,
i thought he would let me do what i do best-
stand alone.

but i was just a challenge to master
i was just a prize to sit on his shelf
i couldn't stand their laughter
when again i couldn't stand for myself.

the perfect, loving master has come for me.

He is in my arms and legs, 

but i control the strings. 

songs of the morning....

Holkham Dawn
Originally uploaded by . Andrew Dunn .

the perfect songs of the morning
draw me to your side
the hymns of the birds and the wind and the trees
are what keep me alive
and as we lay with our backs in the cushion of the dawn
i close my eyes to the beauty that's been drawn
and listen closely to the perfect songs of the morning

--the path--

Path to Grandma's House
Originally uploaded by Ms Ladyred

.the latest.

not organized, some lyrics:

was it true

when we said i love you

i guess i believed it at the time

was it you

who turned my heart to new

when i thought that it was gonna die

you're perfect but you're not what i want

you're perfect but i can't take this on

i'm not ready for your other plans

i need another perfect man

the things you say

can't turn me away

and i know that you would never lie

things you do

melt me through and through

you always do everything just right

you were almost gone

but i can't be alone

and you are the one who brought me home

we're closer now

than i should have allowed

further along than a child-bearing mom

you're just what i need, but the wrong time and wrong place

you're just what i want without the means to fit in pace

i want you so bad, you've got me in your hands

i have to resist before i fall again

---------------------

some words:

im goin down the wrong path

seems that it might be

the closest i can get to the right one

inching to something

i know is wrong for me

but there's not much to pull in the other direction

so dear don't leave me lonely

dear do let me lie in your loving embrace

dear don't deny me of dangerous love,

of damaging dares of darlings in the dark

i'm messed up...

this isn't an attack on anyone, it's just an observation... i can see the possibility of a profiled jerky Christian becoming a trend in some circles. Obviously not an out-and-out jerk, but ya know, the good guy that treats his girlfriend badly, but somehow people think that makes him hott stuff. people showing dominance over God, or just questioning to be "philosophical," a mockery of the lover of truth.

everybody likes "i'm a messed up Christian" rock
it makes you feel like you're not alone,
and you're not
but that doesn't make it okay.

it's not wrong to show your weakness
and please be honest about those scars
but if it becomes a trend to treat God badly in the name of honesty,

it's a lie and i'm out.
i'm gonna rat on you.
i'm a tattle-tale